Friday, January 13, 2012

My family can quarrel over the smallest things. For instance, a few days ago, my mum was screaming at my brother because he didn't want to eat dinner at the same time as her. It was a full blown fight, not those small(but long) nagging sessions. I was pretty sure they would have rip each other's throat out if it wasn't illegal. I wouldn't mind(Actually I still would) them shouting when I'm sleeping( I am trained over 17 years of this bullshit to ignore everything anyone in my family says)  if it was over something serious/important. But over dinnertime?


Not to mention she was the one preaching to everyone the importance of sleep and she goes and wake me up over some stupid fucking reason. She has to realize not everything she says is right. 50 years( I'm guessing that's her age.) of living and you still think you are always right? Seriously. It's like she has the mentality of a 5 year old. I know she may be right sometimes, but too much bullshit has come out of her mouth for the past 17 years. I don't even bother filtering out the right things from the bullshit, I just ignore everything she says.

(Warning: starting of a rant on my mum.)

Dear mum,
You thinks you have the rights to control everything I do/say/think/act. I cannot and will not take it anymore. You have your own opinion, fine. Don't expect me to have the same, because I won't. I will not, I repeat, will not do/say/act as you like just to please you. I will compromise, but I won't give in. She talks to me like I do everything wrong, like I was never wanted (which is true, but still). She just wants to mold me in to her idea of a perfect child, perfect daughter, but guess what? I don't give a shit if you think I'm not your idea of a perfect daughter. If you don't like it, you don't need to do a thing, because there is nothing you can do. I will not change just because I don't fit into your idea of perfect. I may not be as smart as you want me to be, but did you ever think that maybe it's because I never wanted to take the subjects I'm taking now? I didn't want me to go to the course I wanted so don't expect me to study what I don't like, what I'm not good at. Also,  I didn't think me results were bad, a 3.14 GPA is acceptable. When I told you that, the first thing you said was: "Is that good enough?" For your standards? No. Because you expect me to get all As. When I gets reasonably good results, you say it's not my best. What if it is? I'm not fucking Einstein. What are you going to do when you find out I'm not lazy but instead not as smart as you want me to be?

You never trust me to make any decision. Not trying to be corny, but it's my life, okay? I can make mistakes if I want to, because I can learn from it(again,not trying to be corny.) Also, I'm going to be 18 soon, I can think for myself. I need my freedom, I don't need a curfew. I'm not going to join a gang or do anything stupid. I'm not going to abuse my freedom. You grew up in a different era, I get that you think differently, but I think I'm old enough to differentiate right from wrong. In this era, staying out late is not as bad as you think it is. I'm not saying it's because everyone is doing it, I'm saying it because I see nothing wrong with it. Teenagers need less sleep than you think.

You talk to me like I have no feeling. You say I'm dumb, fat and useless. I'm not hurt, really, because I know it's not true. Except for the fat part, but I don't give a shit. Food makes me happier than you ever will. So if it makes me happy, what's wrong with being fat? I may not be academically inclined, but I am not dumb. In some sense yes, but I'm not as brainless as you think I am. Also I'm Tumblr awesome(not Tumblr famous, it's never gonna happen since I'm a random blog*creys*). Not relevant but I thought I'll just throw it out there. Also to lighten the mood since it's getting emotional/depressing. Also, it proves that I'm not useless, Tumblr is a responsibility.

(end of rant)

I need to get back to being awesome/crazy/retarded/fun.



Just looking at a picture of  Lexxi (my future husband) makes me feel so much better/happier. Maybe my next post will be a emotional rant on how much I love all the bands I love. Hmm....Sounds likely.

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