I feel......sad. I know I shouldn't, I know I have no right to, but I do. What to do, what to do?

I should probably fix myself instead of depending on people to make me feel better. Shouldn't depend on people to fix me, it's not fair for them. Question is how? How do I fix myself? The things that are wrong with me is a long, long list. I should probably try though.

List if things wrong with me:

1) I'm pessimistic as it gets. But I still get upset when my predictions come true.

2) I'm very easily attached.

3) I'm very dependent on human interactions. (I know, I know, I love my computer too, but this is also important to me ok don't judge)

4) I care too much. This is not a 'once bitten, twice shy' kind of situation. I think I just jump in head first without thinking. I assume the people I care about will want to stay with me till the end, when they might not want to. I mean, two and counting already, I am not good at this.

5) I give the benefit of the doubt. I always prefer to know the whole story, even when I can guess. It's not a bad thing, but it makes me feel like shit most times.

6) I try to be reasonable. Same reason, not a bad thing, still makes me feel like shit.

7) I'm ugly. Don't even try to make me feel better about this ok, I look in the mirror everyday, I know what I look like and I look like a fucking troll. A ugly human on good days. I need to fix this ASAP. (Goal: get so hot I want to sleep with myself)

8) I'm a little obnoxious. I know I get a little overboard sometimes. I apologize to all that had to deal with it.
(Solution: Shut the fuck up when I have nothing to contribute.)

9) I'm all over the place. I don't have a set dream, my personality is still developing even though I'm an adult, I have no goals to work towards. I just take whatever I can get.

10) I am not hardworking. I just coast through life with the bare minimum. I need to fix this ASAP too.

11) I still live in my head. I can't stop running through the 'What ifs' situations. What if I wasn't such a huge bitch. What if I hadn't done this, or that. What if I wasn't born? That would have saved me a lot of trouble. Oh Doctor, won't you take me back in time to buy a condom for my parents?

12) I pretend to be emotionally stable. I am not.

13) I pretend to be happy. I am not.
I mean, I am, I just exaggerate that part. I feel like I shouldn't burden people with my tiny problems when they are not involved. It's good for other people, but sucks for me. Cry and leave the problem at home. That's my motto.

14) My relationship with my family is toxic. I cannot have a civil conversation with them without going to my room and ripping something apart. I need to leave.

15) I honestly, truly, cannot see my self-worth. To me, I'm totally worthless and replaceable. I am and I have been. I mean, not many people will miss me if I'm gone. I know my best friends will, and I love them to bits. But who else? I don't touch or affect people's life, I don't affect anything. I'm just here.

The list can go on and on, but refer to number 10, I'm too lazy. I shall leave more self loathing for another day. For now, I shall just be sad.